Christmas

I'd like to start by wishing anyone and everyone a merry and wonderful Christmas. If there is one day that I never wish someone to have a bad day for it would be today. I hope everyone gets what or who they wanted and that they get to spend it with their loved ones. Now I have never known the feeling of not being with my loved ones for Christmas, however I got to experience it this year. Today didn't even feel like Christmas to me. Just another saturday night that I am working a midshift for.

I got some wonderful gift cards for Christmas this year sent to me by family. As well as some wonderful baked goods from my mom. I asked for a lot and truly expected nothing so i definitely got more than I had ever hoped. But the one thing that my heart desired was not achieved. I was hoping to have a special someone to spend the small amount of the day that I was off with. Now hopefully one day I'll find it, who knows. But I have learned the true understanding of don't take for granted what you have while you have it. However I have been able to spend it with some friends that I have made since being in the Navy but let me tell you that it's just no where near the same! And please don't get me wrong, i am not at all ungrateful for anything I have or the people I have been around as they are all some amazing people. But I just wish i could of been at home in Denver or even St. Louis or San Diego with the rest of my family instead of working for Christmas night.

Now on to a happier note, I have gotten an amazing Christmas present from God himself this year. It is snowing, right when I needed it most. Feeling as homesick as I was it started snowing on Christmas the first time there has been snow on the ground during Christmas day since 1966. A more than amazing feeling being from CO knowing that I get to see at least a couple hours of white Christmas in 2 years, and it just happened to be when I need it most.

So on that note I'll leave y'all be. I hope everyone had an emaculate Christmas and that you got to spend time with your loved ones. Enjoy and savour that time as it can be swiped from you even quicker than it came!

3 Some?

So recently i got arrested and wondered what was gonna happen with this girl that I have actually decided to like and then my phone fucks up to the point of no return unfortunately...welll I ended up gettin drunk one night start the middle of a threesome. The one thing that many people would love to be involved in.

Well this one tended to be my idea one to help out a friend and two to say i have done it. So when this thing was going down about half way through, and you know what not even that I just thought maybe just maybe this girl has been true to me. So i stop walk out and deal with it. You know why because i actually care about her she has infested my mind its actually kinda stupid the way I am feeling. Now this girl is kind of a hoe and so am I normally but she just has me stupified if you will. And if she wants more than so do I but it is so hard to tell. I had my phone brake and havent talked to her in a few days so now I wait for a response or even something due to the fact that I have a new phone. So i brake out of one of my sexual fantasies for something i may eventually regret doing do to guilt.

Now I know it may just be me but I dont want to be "that guy" anymore I want to have someone that I truly care about and want to be with! And if thats is her than I will be more than ecstatic. If that is just me though then fuck what was I thinkin but if not and I do feel that there could possibly be a huge chance of this then that would be killer, do you know why? Well lemme tell you that it is because I am done with the old me. I want a new me and someone to bring home to the family. I have waited and dwelled on this for quite sometime now and have come to the final conclusion that I may finally be ready.

Ready for the realy jump? Well if so the question is....is SHE?!? Well she has given signs but none that prevail so i feel like I truly wait to find out the truth from her. God please help me in this one as I do sincerely need it.....

Out of Motivation!

At work they have recently started making a lot of changes for us, and on top of these changes they now want me to get qualified in shit that i really could give two shits less about. Well what doesn't help me even in the slightest is that I am going to be getting out of the Navy for sure, there is no longer any ifs ands or buts about this one.

We have these things called perform to serve and on these "evaluations" if you will there is an option that asks what you will be doing when your contract is up with the military and as I am sure you can guess there is the option for getting out. Well when I did my PTS I signed it saying that I am getting out of the military. In other words they caught me in a bad mood and now I no longer have any option to stay in or get out. Guess what, I knew this would be the case too. So now I am trying to get out a year early since the Navy is allowing people to do this for college since it is too full. I figure why should I waste time in the Navy for my last year of my contract? With this option I will now be able to get out in March 9th 2012 instead of 2013! Which if you havent figured out is great news! (for me anyways)

Now having all of that in mind lets jump back to the demotivated part. Where should I feel any kind of motivation to work hard for them or to get all these extra stupid ass qualifications that the Navy wants me to get when they are going to do absolutely nothing of use for me or my "career" that is none existant as it is! And on top of this what sucks even more ass is the fact that they want to get qualified and be able to do maritimes job (oceanography in a sense) where my job and orders are for Aviation! ITS BULL SHIT! How am i possibly going to feel any motivation what do I need to do? Obviously I cant tell them to fuck off (maybe in a lil over a year) but until then I guess I just have to suck it up.

So I guess for this next year I will now have to just suck it up and make sure I can get through a day. What kinda sucks though in that aspect of making it through a day is that there are only a couple things that really help me get through the days. Number one the thought of going home on leave in just a couple of weeks, and Number two is that i get to go hang out with my friends when I dont get stuck working in this god forsacken building! Oh well thats life right? Well if I'm feeling kinda down right now then next theres only one thing that can happen.....Things will start to look up. And hopefully sooner than later!

My Philosophy on life

Video games are some of the greatest things in my mind. I am a huge gamer, I love them so much and I have no idea what I would do without them sometimes! But lately I just havent had the biggest urge to play them all that much nor to even hop on the systems. I have a few new games that I have been wanting to play for a while! But instead lately I have been chillen with friends and living life instead. For a while I would just hide in my barracks room and play video games all the time, why you ask? Well the answer is cause I enjoyed it, didn't feel scared to get into trouble, but lately I havent been playing at all. And I am perfectly ok with this! I have been kickin it with friends and playing Beer Pong (greatest sport ever invented BTW) and hangin with my girl.

Pretty much what this comes down to is to enjoy your life, enjoy every minute of it cause you only get one chance to live it! And no one wants to look back and go shit i totally wasted the last 10 or however many years of my life because I wanted to worry about stuff. Instead you should take up on my life philosophy! Live life fast and Hard dont sit back and miss out on it cause there is just way to much that you could do in it! I would rather be poor and happy with friends and content on life any day than to be rich and alone or the only friends are because you have money. Now I do know that is not the case for everyone who is rich but still you get the picture.

There was a wise man who once said: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

And I bet you can guess what comes next. He is completely right, you should cause if you were to miss it, your really gonna hate life. Instead enjoy it don't let small things that can be quickly fixed or that you can get over keep you down.

I have this idea that I have decided that I want for my funeral. You know how all funerals are depressing and down? Well instead of that for mine, I want it to be a Kegger! I want it to be one hell of a party! Why you ask? Well because I dont want everyone to be down and sad that I am dead and have moved on, instead I want everyone to celebrate my life. Look back at my life and go damn that guy had one hell of a life....He actually did it all!

This is where I sign off, I just hope that you enjoyed the small amount of my philosophy that I have on life!

Dating and Relationships

Now a days it seems that people get to caught up on dating. Well in the past year or so I have come to the realization that there is absolutely no need for trying. What you need to do is just let it happen, and things will come naturally! Don't try to be an ass to her, don't try and impress her, don't wait to text or call her. Just be yourself at all times. Why you ask? Well that's the kicker, If he/she doesn't like you for you and who you are then she clearly is not worth your time. If they think your too clingy because you like to hold hands and kiss and text to much then screw it, they clearly are not meant for you.

If when they are sick and you have just met or started dating or whatever and you offer to come take care of them, make them soup and what not then why is that to much to soon? It's just a genuinely nice offer because you don't want to see them sick! Why do people look to much into things like that?

I think the world has now gotten way to caught up on the fact that you must be fake, an ass, hard to get, or whatever you want to call it these days. I've finally figured out that that is just not necessary, instead you just need to be yourself! No matter who yourself is just be it, because either way down the road they will find out the real you so why hide it in the beginning? Let them like you for you! Not someone that you are not!

Now in my last post i mentioned someone that I was really into and couldn't have. Well I did do what was necessary and I also met someone else. Instead of doing things that I shouldn't of like hiding who I am, I have been honest and straight forward with her from the beginning on who I am and what I am about. Things have been going great too. Hopefully this will continue, also thanks to this fact I've noticed how much easier it is to talk to her and be around her compared to making myself into something I am not!

You may take what I say with a grain of salt but thats ok cause I'm not looking to make you do anything, I am just trying to give advice on things that I have noticed over the past few years that makes a difference in dating. Why hide yourself, let people love you for you! Cause if they don't then it just is not worth it.

I hope this helps with your own little world domination, as it has mine. Besides don't we all know that if we are to dominate another world you must first dominate ones own! =D

Fucked up situation!

So recently I have met a girl that has almost the same personality as me. She makes me so happy, She even likes almost everything that I like, been through the same things that I like. So where is this fucked? Well she has a girl friend, and recently I finally decided that I needed to ask her on a date that I have been wanting to ask her on for quite sometime. Well guess what she said yes. I've known her now for about a month and cannot for the life of me get over her. She is so amazing, we are always happy when together and if we are ever down for whatever reason we cheer each other right up! Her girlfriend doesn't want her to date any guys and thought she was cheating on her with me even though at the time it was absolutely not true not even in the slightest! But when I asked her on the date she agreed to go with me. Well When we went on our date even though it wasn't perfect, the ice rink was closed the place we went to eat (the cheesecake factory) didn't look good, we still had an amazing time. We ended up just going to Qdoba and then to go see The Social Network. And needless to say we kissed during our date, she even fed me popcorn (which by the way was way too cute!) and at the end we watched the greatest cartoon series ever, Invader Zim. Well that same night her gf texted me and asked if I could help her pick out a ring so that she could propose to Brittany. I felt uncomfortable but agreed anyways so that nothing would seem suspicious. The two of them say they love each other but yet Brittany agreed to go on this date with me and then yet kiss me during said date. This confused the hell out of me afterwards.

Well today I went to help Anna pick out a ring for Brittany, I even picked the exact ring that I knew for sure that Brittany would love! In just a matter of a month I have come to know this girl to the tee! I think I may be falling for her and at this point there is nothing I can do. I put myself in this situation and I know this but yet I can't help but try to be on this slight amount of a pursuit of happiness that I have found for the first time in so many years. I have been single now for over at least a year and a half, except for small spurts of "relationships" where i just get everything thrown back in my face. And for the first time in a long ass time I think I may of found that true spot that I have been craving and wanting for so fucking long! Except she is now engaged with Anna.

Now here is the really odd part, what the fuck do I do? Do I let it go, or do I tell her my true feelings? Because from the very second that I met this girl I've been wanting to say I could marry her. I would be willing to give up the single life, just to know that I could have this one amazing girl next to my side for the rest of my life. Now I do know that it's still early even for her "engagement" and I say it like that cause they have only known each other for a few months but still I can't help but hold on to that little piece of hope.

But seriously did that kiss or kisses if you will not mean anything? Would you kiss someone that you don't have some kind of serious feelings for when your in love with someone? Now I know that I pretty much just need to talk to her about all of this but its so hard for me to actually do that. I have told her this tonight right after the engagement went down that I need to talk to her, but still I can't help but hold onto the little piece of hope that there may be something there and that I am not the only one! Especially cause after all this went down and the two of them were leaving she turned around a whispered to me that one we need to have our conversation and two that we will meet up later. Can you say subliminal messaging much?

So What it really comes down to is what does one do in such a situation? Especially when you feel so strongly about someone that you can't feel the need to let them go since it will leave such a gaping hole in (and I'm just spitballing here) the future that your really could, and i do mean for the first time in my life that I have ever felt like this!

If you have some advise on this situation please please please pass it my way as I could truly need it at this point!

Thank you readers for once again listening to my pointless rants and me just letting out some more bent up tention.

Trainspotting

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?




If you have not seen this movie then go see it cause your missing out! ITS FUCKIN EPIC!!!

Yes I'm Still Alive!

I know I haven't blogged in quite sometime now so I just thought I would stop by and let you all know I am still alive. I will have some new blogs up soon, I just have not had anything to write about lately. I have been in a slump, and for this i do apologize to my loyal readers out there. You guys listen and lately I just don't talk, well this is just not okay. I will do everything I can from now on to keep an eye for a good blog category and give it to you guys, and actually even if it's not good I'll make up something worth reading just for you. Thanks for sticking around to those of you that have, in the forever living words of the Great Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'll be back!


So stay tuned ^_^

Stupidity Much?

There is this guy that I work with and he randomly comes up with extremely dumb and moronic ideas that he thinks are some of the greatest things to him and really only him. Well he will take said idea and tell us (all of his co workers) his great idea so that away we look at him with a blank expression or ask why the hell he just so happened to decide to waste our time but of course that's just in a nut shell.

So tonight he walks up to our leading petty officer and starts to tell him one of his grand schemes. AG1 then looks at him not even five seconds into the idiocracy and I quote "No go tell this story to Neal so that away he can tell me whether its a waste of my time or something that I would want to know."

Bennett then decides to walk over and tell us said idea. Now ingeniously I decide this may be a good idea to listen in and join the conversation as if I think he may actually give us something not useless and retarded. But no of course he doesn't, Neal just starts saying no no no you better not walk over there and waste his time like you did ours!

Well here you go I will not hold you back anymore on this story and give you the juicy guts of it.

"I want to make a cake that's a red velvet cake, and make it into the shape of a person. You know full body and all. Then after doing this I'd eat this cake but during the time that I am cutting it, it will then look like blood because the inside would be red from the red velvet being red...."

Now I hope you can understand is that wasn't even one of his worse ones, he has had some that were so bad we still quote them on a fairly hourly basis.

I hope you enjoy the stupidity from this evening, i bid you goodnight!

Cheddar and Horseradish?

Now maybe you think this sounds good? Well what about if they are combined to make a chip flavoring?
Well now they are and let me tell you from experience, it's kinda like a punch in the mouth packed with flavor and not just a little bit either, I am talking about all the way around. Now I do love these chips and I also love turning them onto new people especially my fellow horseradish lovers but if you aren't then watch out because i will probably surprise the ever living crap out of you! I won't tell you the flavor until after you eat one down cause your face the first second that horseradish kicks in, and let me tell you it's not light either, looks something like the first time you tried to fight against the sour of those damned blue raspberry war heads! It never gets old either, I walked from person to person in my section at work and just surprised the ever living crap outta their taste buds!
And I do believe this was the face of just a couple horseradish hating unsuspecting customers of my chips! Now you must agree that this would be worth every cent spent on the chips other than the pure enjoyment I got out of eating them! So do yourself a favor and run over to ze gas station, or your local Herr chips dealer and get a bag all for yourself to either rub in peoples faces or just enjoy all to your lonesome! Seriously though Go do it, and go right meow!

Cheating Skanks

Whats the fucking point you ask? Well don't ask me because I'm not the one who decided to do it! Once again I was on the receiving end of this, and guess what this has happened to me more times then I can count since I was about 16. When it started happening around 16 and 17 I just quit having relationships instead I turned into a typical ass hole. I slept with chicks then stopped calling and texting. So inso facto ladies if you are reading this i dont know whether or not you see what turned me into the guy I am today, but if you cant I will spell it out for you then.....ITS FUCKING YOU! You want to be treated like shit, so you walk all over us nice guys that just want to be something good in your life and give you the world and you take full advantage of this! Turning guys into and i quote (and you can quote me on this quote unquote) "sluts and dicks!" If you didnt want to sub consciously be treated like shit then there would be less problems in the world with guys becoming what Ive turned into. At first I was a nice romantic guy, probably the typical guy a chick wants to be with in a way...and then after being fucked over so many times it straight turned me into a fuck em and dump em attitude in a way. Now I am not saying that I am not willing to give it up and go back to what I was but you would have to give me reason to do this.


Recently, sayyy oh Idk a couple weeks maybe 3 I met this girl while at the beach which was cool right? Wrong, I thought she gave me good reason to go back to the guy that I used to be...So I did and guess what! Right after I do she no longer likes me cheats on me and laughs as she breaks up with me about it.

She was from a kinda broken home and from a poor family in the "ghetto" which didnt bother me before, but after you spit on me metaphorically speaking, then you have just royally pissed me off! So instead of just taking the break up with a grain of salt like I was, I (and again metaphorically speaking) Haucked a lugey back on her, right in the eye to where the bitch deserved. I told her that she probably got paid for the sex, not more than maybe 6 dollars if the guy(s) were generous, and just said thats what happens when you come from a family that treats you like shit and from the ghetto right? You become a prostitute? Or is that just what happens when Drunk ass daddy misses a lot of dance recitals when your a kid....you grow up to blow a goat on the internet.

I dont think i was to far in the wrong for this, the skank provoked me, however ladies if you all are reading this then just know that its your fault why I am like I am in relationships, its your fault that I treat you like shit, and the worst part is its not just me...........You all have done this to so many people that its almost like a pandemic with guys now!

So if you want this to change from guys then guess how it tis gonna come about.....by you fucking changing! Just like how everyone claimed we needed change from a shit president to a cock sucking president! It happens so change yourselves if you want us to not be such pricks!

Thanks for stopping by and reading my latest rant, I hope you enjoyed it and will be back soon with a funny one in the near future...

Nick

Truly Think It Through

If you arent in the military and are considering enlisting then really and truly think hard on the decision, decide if your health is worth the benefits, or if you will make a career in it, cause if not its hard to keep yourself going everyday its hard to wake up and see a point in it. If you cant really think for yourself then maybe its right for you if you are a leader then dont go enlisted cause there is just to much brain washing involved. Ive come down to start feeling that if you do become a leader or in better terms usually about an E6 to E7 and above that on more than three quarters of the time you have been brain washed past the point of return and are now pushing it onto others and doing the same for the military to others that was done to you...this is my experience thus far and the light is barely visible but still there, this changes on occasion but for the most part gets worse and worse. I dont feel im the only one who feels this way, and i think most the time i may of been a little better off just not joining but who knows since i cant just go back on it, who knows the truth behind how Im feeling cause i dont even know if i am see that truth right now! I look back and wish that i wouldn't of just joined on a impulse decision, had I of really thought it out I may of been able to avoid all of the anguish that I now feel like I'm putting myself through.

Nick here...

Im Nick and welcome to my blog, its not gonna be for being funny although you will hopefully be able to get some laughs out of it, its more for me to talk out what all is going through my head. I didnt think i would ever be creating my own blog but look at me now. I came up with the idea to do a blog through a status that i wrote out for myself on facebook that ended up becoming wayyyy longer than any status should be. I am also in the Navy, do i like well thats for you to decide through some of my posts. like the one to follow will give you a good grasp on how I am feeling at this current point in time. I will Also be doing some random rants and discussing the way i feel I've become a little fucked in the head. Well I hope you enjoy these cause i do believe that I sure will!